Jay's Brand New Notebook.

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Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:32 am

December 2, 2012

Woke up next to Miya this morning. My nightmares have for the most part ceased. Sure I'll wake up sweating, but with Miya next to me it helps me fall back asleep. I feel bad that I sweat so much in my sleep though. She must have to shower more often with me in her bed.

OH! So today I figured I am an addonexus, considering the fact that I went into full bloom today. I looked like a sad little porcupine honestly. My bones sticking out everywhere. I feel my bone shifting under my skin. I need to get a grasp on how to control it. Sometimes I"ll be sitting and it'll just tingle and I'll have to direct it away from teh nice furniture, or people. It's aggravating, but bearable...

Asked her out today. It's weird how much I think about her... Is this love?

-Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:12 pm

December 3, 2012

I slept like a baby. Only woke up for a moment in a sweat, but Miya was there. Even if she was asleep.
Today was uneventful... But I thought I'd write.

-Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:14 am

December 4, 2012

Seems I came back from my walk late today. I've been taking walks every day... I might go back to my home town in a bit... I don't know, just a thought. I keep walking in on Miya asleep. I am too afraid to climb in bed and wake her up, so I usually just watch her sleep. Even though it's a bit... creepy. She looks so at peace with herself. Her medications must be working better or something.

I haven't been feeling my best since the bloom. I've been... Out of it. Tired and out of it. Like, my past is coming back more often. I see their faces in the mirror now. Behind me. I look there, and no one is standing there. Creepy.

I talked to some Fallen today about Biokenesis. It was a good talk until he started to shove his opinions on me and tell me he was more smart than him. I understand it, because he is more experienced with his gift, but I just learned mine. back off with the morals. He said "I must put my past behind me so I wont harm anyone" Well fuck you you fucking moron. My past is behind me. I told him that all elaborate so he could understand me but he didn't respond, so I left. Dumbass...

-Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:16 pm

December 5th, 2012

My mind is racing. Who know that one being could want to be with someone forever, when forever exsists. I feel like I'm running out of time. I love Miya. I really do. I even said it. She said it back. It was amazing I couldn't even contain every fiber of love I had for her.

Everything just, clicks with her, you know? It's like, she knows me like she's been with my my whole life. We just have too much in common.

As I said in the beginning. Forever exists for her, but not me. I feel like I'm running out of time with her. It's like, she will never grow up, biologically. Me on the other hand... I will get old. Think about how weird we look now, and how weird we will look when I am like, 30. I am afraid of vampires though. Not of vampires in general, just being one scares me slightly. The idea of having to drink blood is kind of... Not appealing. Plus, I doubt Miya would want to bite me in the first place. Too many vampires here anyways...

But I want my forever with her...

-Lovestruck Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:38 pm

December 6, 2012

I'm so in love with you
And all the things you do
I know you'll get me through
I was living in hell
Until you casted your spell
I'm so in love with you
I'm lovestruck
And all the things you do
I know you'll get me through
Lovestruck.

Seriously though, You are perfect. Get out of here before my heart explodes.

-Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:54 pm

December 9, 2012

I am sitting the tavern, I am already kind of... Tired of people here. the tension is real. I feel a bit judged for my need for physical attention constantly. Since Miya... It's like I got what I never had... Attention. It's like she can hold me and love me like I've never felt before. The earrings she got were really pretty, but I can tell she doesn't like them as much as she acted... But then we went to the tavern and everything got so...TENSE. It was like... Someone turned on the tensity switch times fifty...

Miya got hungry... I told her she could feed from me but she didn't respond... I just want to be with her whenever I can. I have trouble parting from her when she goes to work everyday.

Miya Miya Miya Miya Miya Miya Miya Miya.

I just feel... Stupid. Because no one will talk to me at the tavern now because I coddled over Miya... I just love her so much... No one's loved me for so long before... Except for mom and dad... But I don't remember them. I just want love.

-Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Mon Dec 10, 2012 10:02 pm

December 10th, 2012

I had another nightmare. Usually, they are reoccurring, but this one... This one was different. This one was too real, too... believable... to be a simple dream...

I was sitting in the unit, minding my own business when Miya appeared in the doorway. She was holding something clenched in her hand and I asked her what it was. She didn't respond... She simply looked up and blood was smeared on the sides of her mouth. Her eyes were hidden under a black masquerade mask. She simply smiled wide, her fangs out and I blinked a few times, unable to feel... Anything. I felt my toes go numb as my body froze to the chair.

She walked towards me with this... Evil smile on her face and I couldn't move anymore. It was like she was going to feed from me, but not in a good way. It was like she was going to kill me. Her eyes were blacker than night and I couldn't even cry out in fear. I just... I am so scared I can't even get my bearings on things at this point. She comes up to me and reaches down with her open hand, grasping my neck and pushing me back into the chair. Her face shifts and it's not Miya, it's some sort of changeling. It smiles with glee as it crushes my neck and I hear it snap. Miya's voice is projected from the demon and I try to cry out, but I am dead.

"Don't. Leave. The Compound."

It said her her voice. I intend not to leave... I intend on staying inside... In fact, I won't even exit the compound building itself anymore...

-Jay
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Re: Jay's Brand New Notebook.

Post  xarthan on Sat Dec 22, 2012 6:05 pm

December 22, 2012

It's three days until Christmas. I've come down with a terrible cold...

I can't even feel the bottom of my nose from the overuse of tissues and my eyes won't stop watering... Good thing Miya is taking care of me. Uhg. I feel awful.

-Jay.
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