~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

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~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:37 am

Margra keeps a small notepad with her in which she occasionally writes down important happenings within her life. Her entries aren't always detailed, but she keeps up with them so that she'll have something to look back on and use to remind herself of certain events.

http://thecompoundrp.forumotion.com/t156-margra-eloise-morgan

Christmas Eve

She names him Dracula.. really, Hope? That's so you.
You still try to make me smile. Even if you don't mean to, and I automatically refuse. Do I have a problem?
Smiling doesn't cause me pain, does it?
No of course it doesn't, Madrigal, stop being ridiculous

The air is thickening with the cold, and this Seraph Blade is starting to feel like a cold lump of metal in my pocket.
But it's more than that, Margra, stop treating it like a spare set of house keys.
It's only a matter of time before the 5"6 snake comes crawling along the cobble with the other rats that tiptoe round here, like secrets are being held. Everyone has a secret. Everyone has their story.
Snake.. what do I call you.. scales? I don't know.
Stick with Scales for now.
You want me to burn her gloves? Make friends with these people?
I can't. I can't be what you want me to be.
What I apparently need to be.

What you did to my wings.
Stripped me of the feathers I could of had.
I am the black sheep. Of our entire Family.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Mon Dec 24, 2012 6:15 pm

Boxing Day

That scum.. that disgusting psionic.
Someone needed to put her in her place.
Hope didn't do it, she seemed to go easy on her.
I'm the one with the black eye, where is my chance for revenge?

She raised her hand at me. I only took appropriate action.
An eye for an eye, right?
She might not be able to use that hand for a while, the skin does look like melted rubber.
Ha.. I could've done worse. I think she knows I don't give empty threats.

And wings, your pretty pretty wings. I wish I had your pretty wings.
They shimmer like glitter when you show them, why do you hide your wings?

I'd love to have your wings.
They are so pretty compared to mine. Compared to my bat wings.. compared to my one wing.
While the other is shredded to nothing but the bone frame.

I want your wings. I'd love to fly with your wings.
Your pretty pretty wings.


If only everyone would understand, I am not interested in having Boy germs. The idea of it makes me feel icky, and how I was asked if I "do" girls, I'm not sure if I should be effected or brush it off my shoulder.
Is what I have done, that bad? To the psionic girl? I felt a thrill, my Seraph blade feels so cold in my hands, in my pocket, is it just as important as a spare set of keys?
No, Madrigal, it is more than that. She gave it to you specially.

At the bottom of the page, was a small scribbling of a sentence. Rushed, small blotches of ink surrounding it

Don't let her have another reason to burn a letter into my hand, I already know the feeling I get when I lie.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:52 pm

26 December

"You can't make me date someone."
"I can"
No. You can't.

Make amends with the psionic: Done.
Have a successful conversation with Mr. Howard: He's nowhere to be found.


I have enough on my plate, the psionic's hand is healed.
How has it healed so quickly? The damage should have taken months to heal.
Must have been Scales, of course it was her. She's the one who wanted me to make friends with her,
but I can hardly be friends with the girl. My black eye is still very obvious, but nobody has turned head or asked yet.
Good. Let's keep it that way, Margra.

I've been looking at this arrow all night, and I've only got one thing to say about it. It's either Orc or Elven.
Quite a big difference in species, but they both like to decorate their weapons like a parade float, but very well crafted.
The tip looks like it was supposed to be poisoned, but wiped off, Scales is dealing with a bunch of softies. Shame.
I thought she liked a challenge.

Hope arrived at the psionic's unit last night, after I treated her annoyingly quiet friend, and we played a quick game. It was fun, she I threw an apple and she hit it with her Seraph blade, it just turned to ashes at my feet. I was throws nuts, chestnuts, and they froze into rather large, solid balls of ice. They flew past her and shattered.
Psionic should be grateful, I gave her some ice cubes for her little boyfriend for when he attacks another door.



Last edited by DaniTranic on Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:39 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:37 am

27 December

I woke up late today with a pain in my neck, and it still hasn't gone away.

Why Cambria, how did you think doing this wouldn't have consequences. Then again, you are Cambria. Karou knew this would happen, she just didn't know she knew, she had some dream or nightmare. I won't let this go over my head, I'll have Karou explain this "dream" to me.

She saw an explosion, a sort of desert scene with a large brick building, or stone, she didn't specify, but this must mean something.

Karou was panicking, is panicking, I could almost feel it shifting the air. I still don't understand why she was panicking about the article, maybe because everyone is saying they are related? Which is true, obviously, but they don't look much alike. But her wings, they both share the same colour. Even mine has that slight blue reflex to it, but it's not as obvious as Hope's feathers.
Don't go "Green-eyed Monster", Madrigal.
Don't worry, Hope, I will do my best to keep you safe during this, just calm yourself.
It was only a dream.

What are you planning, Cambria, I know this is one of your plans. It's just you

I think Psionic has gotten my point, she won't be laying another finger on me again. And if she does..
She will lose one.
Where have you been?

Her skin is like paper, and I am the knife.
The scissors to snip her in half.
Seeing her squirm is such a show,
I just want to see you cry
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:30 am

December 28

Me being here has brought us closer, much closer than I wanted to be back in Russia. You call me "Darling" or "Sweetheart". If anyone else called me that, I think we are both aware I wouldn't be happy.
Everyone's trying to get me interested in finding that "special someone", as fairy tales put it, and you are the only one who has made me at least look at it differently.
But kissing is still gross.

Nobody has explained to me why it is so important I find someone. I am fine on my own, I have been all this time.
You told me about my bloodline, and why blood and vampiric feeding is such a pleasure for me- Karou embraced hers more than I, we are both different after all. I have more of an interest is the actual blood and gore, while she looks at the mythical side of it. I confuse myself sometimes when thinking about it like this, maybe I should just stop thinking and just roll with it.
Thinking doesn’t get you far with telepaths anyway.
I do try to keep you safe, Karou. And I want to be friends. But what I did is unforgivable, but Dracula can show you the friendship I want to give you.
That was the idea.

Your plans, Cambria, what is this plan you have for me. I have only been told to make friends, and I barely see anyone around, or people who I have already met.
I can just do research to find out about them instead.

My fingers are tingling again.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:48 am

03 January
Happy New Year


There's a lot I need to think about over the next few days. I'm not 100% sure of what's actually unfolded.
I got the Joker card, Karou thinks it means rarity. I still have to ask Cambria, but she seems a little busy with this.. group she is making. (She hasn't told me the name of it yet).
She says I have to make friends with a lycan, named Kurtis, and gain his trust.
It seems as easy as it sounds, I was nice to Aisling last night. How hard can it be to be a little friendly? Hard or not, I don't really have a choice at this point.
But I will not be dying my hair or acting as a ditz to become friends.

I saw the woman I wrote about, with the red and cream wings, She's in the compound. She was throwing knives with someone in the Common room. I haven't seen her in the last two days, maybe she wasn't actually there?

I'm going to try on my dance dress again, and see if it's okay for the Wedding.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:19 pm

08 January

So much has gone on, too much has gone on. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to write it all down.
My "job" to befriend the lycanthrope, Kurtis, isn't working. Even Warren agrees with me, I won't be able to do it, Karou has gained a friendship with him. I'm sure she can get his trust for Cambria, I don't even want to be a part of her plan. I don't understand why it's so important that I make friends with him.
I might have womanly "powers", but I don't know how to use them.

Speaking of the Kurtis-trust job, I'm finding it more difficult than when I was first shipped out from Russia after training. I'm finding it difficult, it's making me stressed, and everything else is making me stressed. I don't want to deal with it any more, I just want to know I can be in the Compound, be able to do what I want, say what I want. And drink what I want.
I just want a whiskey.

Kurtis thinks I'm creepy, and calls me an ice cube. I don't think Cambria actually realizes how difficult it is for me, All she has to say is "When all else fails, you're still female". That only makes it more difficult, I can't help but think that everyone else is watching me struggle like I'm hanging from a cliff with a piece of string, and everyone just says to find something in common.
I'm not aloud to go on the computer to do research on him, either.
All I know is he doesn't like pizza, and that his thought on colour and food depends on where he is.
I'll just give him a bottle of water, it has no colour, and it isn't pizza.
It is all just a shell, but everyone acts like I'm just a sour lemon.
Man, I could use a lemon right now.
I just want someone to help me break through my own shell, as well as have everyone else do that. I just want to know what I'll be like, I'm even unable to find out who I am in the mirror. And if that's not a problem, then I don't know what is.

But I see something sparkly in the horizon, and the fence is in the way. I just can't reach it on my own.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:10 pm

09 January

I'm broken. I'm falling.
I'm falling, the string has been cut.
It wasn't even string, it was thread, and Ibram and Cambria have cut it together.
They shared the scissors that broke me
And now, I'm in the wood.
Curled in a ball, a pain in my ribs, my face and nose.
It's only me who can feel it.
I get called a puppet. When you're the one with a puppet master.
My bark is not gone, my bark is asleep.
I'm not the baby wolf, I'm not the puppy.
I'd never kill your puppy. How could you think I would do something like that?
Because I refused to hold it?
Well, to think Cambria actually set you up to hurt me.
The woman who says she's helping me.
She doesn't know what she's doing. What she's doing is eating my insides.
I am broken.
And all I can think about is how Karou found me in that state in the wood, in a mess.
The embarrassment of our family.
I may have told you what I need help with, what I want.
But Cambria won't give it. She says I make it all about me. She's the one blabbering on about how she's been "helping" me.
I don't have my Seraph blade.
I left it behind.
I don't know how to do it.
I don't know how to show it.
And yet you tell me to do it, in case it's the last thing to do.
I don't know how.


Has the candle's flame gone out, is that the red wax or my blood.
Melting away. An "Ice Princess"
I'm the only one without the gold.
Is the light gone or has it only dimmed on me, and brightened on everything else?
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Sat Jan 19, 2013 9:23 pm

"Why do you even exist?"
"Does anything go on in your head?"
"I'd like to know myself"
"It's not all about you"
"Don't act so uneducated"
"She was left traumatized"
"Little wolf lost her bark"

I did something nice to you, and you question my existence with everyone else at the table
And then you act like my sister again when they are gone.
What are you to me, Boo? I've tried to hard to be nice.
And because I wasn't thinking at that hour, because I wasn't talking at that hour.
There is now no point in me existing
Don't bring me to a dinner against my will, Mr. Actor, because it was clear I didn't want to go.
And it still ended badly, and don't call me your "date"
I wasn't even invited.
Don't say you are helping me, because you are not.
Am I making your job difficult? I'm sorry, I never asked to have a freaking Father follow me around.
And put my food on my plate, I know how to dish up my dinner.
Don't nudge me at the table, don't give me that stern look parents give to their kids.
You don't know me, you have barely even bothered to sit with me and ask anything about me.
I tried, nobody can say I can't because I did.
Nobody here is me, only I am me, I know if I tried. I know if I'm trying to talk.
You were all flirting at the table, how was I supposed to get involved?
Boo wasn't talking, yet nobody said anything about her.
I had already eaten anyway, but the food was nice
Even if it was just thrown together, I enjoyed it.

So, report for Cambria:
I am trying my best, even if my best isn't what you want, guess what.
Deal with it, I'm trying.
Don't threaten to get rid of me, you already threatened to send me to England.
My bags are still packed for it.
When I talk, nobody takes notice, but when I do.
Everyone's ears are too busy to hear me
So I'll be in the wood.
I will be in the wood. Working my ass off to ear SOME sort of praise from anyone.
Even if it is Dracula.
Do not come and scold me for apparently not trying.
Do not come and scold me like a dog not doing tricks, or a cat having eaten all the toilet paper
And shredded it across the floor.
While everyone else gets all these little praises, and being told.
"You haven't done anything I have asked."
I never even said it was about me.
Stop giving me work you know I can't do, you know I can't do it
They have all been to make friends.
And every time I fail, you give me the same job again.
I thought people learnt from their mistakes?
I will stick out my hands and let you cut them off or I can lay my tongue on the table and let you slice it out.
I'm ready for it now, just take me seriously.
Call me a downer. Call me impossible. Act like I don't exist if you question my existence.
And Warren, stop commenting on me talking
It makes you no better than me.
Pick on something else, pick on my hair, pick on my freckles.
Bloody pick on my wings if it gives you a kick!
The social comments are old, and therefore, make you sound like you're just trying to find something to amuse yourself with
How about have a conversation with me, I try to, I really do try. Nobody notices I try.
I seem to be the one left to make the conversation, and when I can't:
"Why do you exist?"
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Thu Jan 31, 2013 5:13 pm

31 January

I have neglected you, Journal, for a little over a week. My apologies, I haven't really had the motivation to write.
A lot has gone on over the week, more than should go into a week I suppose, but I can't complain. I wasn't left bored.
I have had my label of "Little girl" taken away and now officially a woman, which feels better, now I don't have to worry about reaching thirty without it. The only way I could describe it at the moment is.. I won't put details, it's not appropriate to write. Not the best feeling, I'll say.

My shift was supposed to have taken place last night, but once again, Warren wasn't around. I'm not going to walk around looking for him if he just disappears, even when he was the one who told me it WAS happening. His decision, I only found out the afternoon of the day before.

I have definitely become more social than I was the day before, I even speak to strangers now. But I seem to pick the ones that make me want to rip out fingernails.
For example, there's a new Demon in the compound. His name is Gabriel (I couldn't help but laugh when he told me his name, he didn't seem to mind, he himself even said it was ironic). He only told me his name yesterday, though, not when I actually met him the first time. We were in the Tavern and I was in a good mood, and he was just sitting at the bar. Karou and Warren were at their booth, and meeting new people is one of my missions. He called me a sub-par, which is apparently a nickname for Kins down there. He's called a newskin, Cambria told me, which I think is funny. Anyway, he thinks he's better than me and thinks I'm average. That's when Karou made the point about who our Great great great Grandfather is (Forgive me if I missed a great). Later on in the evening, it ended up with Ibram breaking his jaw. He turned up in the Unit last night when Karou and I were discussing news and he just acted like the place was an open cafe.. Anyway, he ended up leaving and I had burnt hair from his cigarette. It's okay, I can just cut off the burnt ends, I need a haircut anyway.

I'm not sure about the shift, Cambria told me something that has made me feel uneasy. I don't know if I'll be able to go through with it, maybe I'll have to think a little more. Either way, if it ends with me telling Warren it's not happening, I know I'll be annoyed with myself.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:55 pm

If you die, it could be my fault.
If you get taken, it could be my fault.
The longer you're gone, I still feel like it's my fault.
If you're injured, it could be my fault.
If you never come back, it could be my fault.
All because I promised not to tell.


Forgive me, Feathers, it's for your own good.
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Re: ~ Under the rock of Madrigal Morgan ~

Post  DaniTranic on Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:30 pm

08 March.

I apologise for my absence, I haven't had the energy to write an entry lately.

Eponine has organised me to be flown over to Alabaster, which occurred days ago, and I've spent the majority of my time in my unit.
I don't know anyone here. At least in the Compound I knew Karou, it's like going to a new school.
I don't know anyone, and I don't want to know anyone.
They're all weird, weirder than the Compound.
Eponine tells me I must meet her at this Night Club she runs, I can't remember the name of it, probably an excuse not to go.
She said I have to look presentable, technically meaning, she wants me to wear a skirt.
Can't I just finish documents Cambria has sent me to fill out for her? Or read a book, write a story?

I haven't seen Eponine since she left me in the forest with my suitcase, and even then, I had to stumble in on people sleeping in their units while I tried to find my own.
I even walked in on two people who share their unit, can't people lock their doors when they're busy with "that".
I've spent a lot of time in the Tavern, Cambria doesn't come to check up on me often, so I can have a drink and not have Cambria give me a protein shake or make be run three miles in my pyjamas.

I wonder if Eponine meant it when she said she'd fly Easton over to visit me for a day, or if it was just to make me come.
Because I'm on my own. At least everyone else is somewhere familiar to them.
Even Karou, she's been to Blue Ash before, I've just been put back into another prison.
Only this one is bigger than the last and there's no electric fence. Just a big wall.
Just a big, stone wall.


Bird and Myself
Jacobo Raymundo "Because it's trapped in its own cage"


Muted expression
A songbird perched upon a winter pine
Alone.

Not a chirp
No songs of spring
Nothing but silence

Staring out towards the rising moon
Where we both tend to gaze
As if there's commonplace

Perhaps the bird doesn't sing
Because it's trapped in its own cage
As am I.
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